Please stand by...

Life is, well, complicated at the moment. Really complicated. And while I find writing a cathartic exercise, most of what I'm writing at the moment is probably not meant to be splashed across the internet right now. Thus, I'll be taking a hiatus from regular blogging until life settles down a bit more. Emails, calls, hugs, and chocolate chip cookies are, of course, always welcome.

Encore

There is nothing sweeter than watching my son sign and say "More!" after I sing him a song. I love it. I couldn't hope for a more appreciative audience.

Recent developments

There is a special kind of elation that a parent experiences upon the realization that his or her child is beginning to make sense of the world. For those readers who don't enjoy maternal gushing over developmental milestones, perhaps this post is not for you.

Once again, Richard O. has been making some quantum leaps in his development. As I was getting ready for bed last night, Mom settled Richard O down with some books. I was delighted to hear him babbling away as he "read" them to her, but when I finished brushing my teeth and came into the room, suddenly I heard what he was saying -- he was counting from 1 to 10!

At the bottom of the page were the numerals in a row from left to right; he was scanning his fingers along the bottom and saying the names of the numbers aloud as he went. His pronunciation was clearest from 1 through 5, and 7 was a little garbled, but 10 came out loud and clear. My first thought was, "He's reciting this from memory," since some of his battery-operated toys count aloud, so I decided to ask him to point to some numerals at random. When I asked him to show me the number 3, he pointed to the 3. When I repeated the exercise with 5, 2, 7, and 9, he again responded correctly. And when I asked him to show me the number 10, he pointed, said "ten" clearly, and then used the ASL sign for 10!

My jaw dropped.

It never ceases to amaze me how Richard O. learns. His expressive (spoken) vocabulary continues to explode, and it seems as though he picks up at least one new word a day. Today's word was "vacuum". His receptive language is also rapidly expanding, and he loves to participate in adult conversations by signing familiar words when he hears them spoken aloud. Sometimes he even signs when he hears a homophone (e.g. I say "wet" and he signs "pet"), which is kind of funny, but it demonstrates that he is always listening intently to the words he hears. He speaks in sentences fairly often -- "Help me," "I want to read a book," "I see a bike," etc. -- and he is beginning to employ courtesies like "please" and "thank you" in both speech and sign.

One of the most powerful new applications of ASL that we have seen Richard O. use is the sign "eat" when he is feeling the symptoms of hypoglycemia. When he toddles over and signs "eat" at an unusual time, we often find that his blood glucose is below target -- which means that he needs to eat a snack to bring it back up. It's not always the case that he's low when this happens, but it's happened enough that I am convinced that he is developing some awareness of his symptoms. It is a huge blessing, and makes me thank my lucky stars that we have taught him ASL.

For all of the challenges that we have had to face this year, moments like these make it all worthwhile. I love being Richard O's mommy.

Surviving the whirlwind

Since my last post, I finished my graduate conducting workshop, attended Hubby's high school reunion, and made a trip to St. Joseph's so Richard O. could have a follow-up with his doctors.



The trip was fraught with disaster, to put it mildly. About 30 miles into our trip on Monday morning, I stopped to fill up on gas, and was horrified to see streams of gas dripping from the gas tank area. We pulled into a parking spot, and Mom and I both made frantic calls on our cell phones in order to reschedule our appointments at the feeding center, get the car into a repair shop to be fixed, and to reschedule other appointments for later in the week. We then retreated to Johnson City for 24 hours, where I dropped the minivan off for repairs, and then returned to Mom's house to try and catch up on some much-needed rest.

Tuesday morning I awoke with pain in my right breast, which I at first chalked up to a funky sleeping position. As the day progressed and we made our way to New Jersey, my symptoms worsened: I grew feverish and my body ached all over. Thankfully, I made it through both of our sessions at the feeding center. However, by the time we left the center and ran a errand, I was borderline delerious. Though I was eager to see my Aunt Dolly and Uncle Lou, upon arrival at their house I said a brief hello, and then promptly put myself to bed for the night. My temperature was 102.6 when we finally got around to checking it!

Several rounds of Tylenol and fluids later, the fever broke. A long hot shower and some massage/manual expression seemed to help with the tenderness, though I continue to be sore on my right side. I am pretty sure that this was a bout with mastitis, and while I have an appointment booked with my doctor for Friday, my symptoms have greatly improved.

Mom, on the other hand, started developing a severe cough on Tuesday night and began having chills and body aches. On Tuesday afternoon she lost a crown on one of her teeth while eating a cookie.

Through all of this, Richard O. maintained his usual sunny, pleasant attitude, despite having long hours in the car, multiple delays of various kinds, and a mother and grandmother that were both "out of it." He really was such a good little boy for the entire trip. He weighed in at 22 pounds, 12 ounces at the feeding center, which places him into the 10th percentile or so for weight, and he's now in between the 10th and 25th for height. His doctors were very pleased with his progress, though we did make some changes to his protocol in order to encourage him to chew and swallow his food faster during meals.

In sum total, the car has been repaired, I'm feeling (mostly) better, Mom is (mostly) okay, and the baby is doing great. It wasn't the easy trip we had hoped for, but we're all safe and sound. However, I wouldn't want to relive the past 3 days over again, either.

CME update

Today was day 3 of CME, and I am having a great time! It is exhausting, to be sure, but in a good way. Of course, nothing seems to stop me from being awake at 2 am...

The week's focus is on music from many cultures, and includes quite a bit of music from the oral tradition. This has led me to do some very deep thinking about ways of knowing and ways of teaching, and not just in music. I'm not sure I'm coherent enough to convey my thoughts about the subject just yet (much less at 2 am) -- perhaps I'll try later in the week once my head has stopped spinning.

Richard O. has been doing well in my absence -- he seems to be loving the extra time with Grandma O., and Grandma O. is certainly enjoying being his playmate and caretaker, though she said to me today, "There's not a spare moment in the day!" She's doing really well caring for his diabetes, as well, especially given that Richard O. started having some bizarre lows (one of which was a 29!) out of the blue on Sunday and Monday. I had to instruct her to reprogram the pump over the phone, and though it took us a while, she did just fine. I am so grateful for her willingness to take this on -- there is no way that I would be able to take this class this week without her help and support.

Even Hubby is coming around on this last bit -- he said tonight, "I am so relieved that someone else can sucessfully take care of Richard's diabetes. Your mom is doing a great job." To which I immediately replied, "Did you tell her that?"

As much as I would love to write, I think I need to go back to sleep now, since my head is a little garbled. I've got to get up in 4 more hours!

Stoking the fire

The next few weeks are something of a whirlwind for our family:

June 29 - July 3rd: Katie goes to the CME workshop at Ithaca College
July 4th - 5th: Hubby goes to the Elijah Project in Palmyra with the youth
July 5th: Hubby, Katie, & Richard O. go to Hubby's 15th high school reunion
July 7th-8th: Katie, Hubby, Richard O. & Grandma O. go back to St. Joseph's in NJ for a round of follow-up appointments regarding feeding

My head is kind of spinning! I'm glad that I'll have the 4th of July as kind of a "down" day, because I think this next week will leave me pretty pooped, even if it's an exhilarated, I-just-spent-an-entire-week-making-music kind of pooped.

Seriously, this next week will mark the first time in 2 years that I've been able to devote any serious time to music-making. Writing that makes me kind of sad. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to be a mom, but the challenges of the last two years (and especially the last six months) have made it all but impossible to devote much time to my art. The creative energy that was an all-consuming fire within me for years has dwindled down to a teeny ember from lack of attention and time. And, darn it, that nagging little voice in the back of my head is whispering things like, "What makes you think you've still got it? You've got two years of cobwebs to clear away."

I hate that little voice. I think I need to tell her to shut up!

Time to stoke the fire and feed the embers. Time to welcome music back into my life. Time to open myself to feeling deep feelings and expressing them once again through the well-tuned voice, the shaping of a phrase, the crispness of a consonant. Time to acknowledge that I have a gift that can and should be used -- and should be appreciated by others.

On that last note -- appreciation -- I received a note in the mail from out of the blue this week that seemed to confirm to me that now is the right time for me to finding my way back to music-making. Last Sunday I subbed for my wonderful friend Jenny, who teaches the "Singing Time" portion of Primary (read:children's sunday school) at our church. Some women from the stake (read: regional) Primary presidency were visiting that day, and though I didn't really speak to any of them afterward, one of them took it upon herself to find my name and my mailing address, and she sent me the following:

Dear Katie,

Thi s is just a brief note to say what I'm sure you already know: that you are a marvelous and wonderful woman and an extraordinarily find music leader. I so loved being there this Sunday. Your enthusiasm and joy for both the children and the music is so evident and uplifting.

Thanks fo much for stepping in and sharing your gifts. I'll hope to see you again on future visits -- either in Sacrament Meeting or in Primary.

Clap once if you can hear me.
Clap twice if you can hear me.
Clap three times just for joy. And gratitude.

B.

Is it any wonder that I teared up reading this? I mean, if I needed one last push to find a way back into music, this was definitely it. And from a complete stranger, no less!

If nothing else, I hope the next week opens a door for me to reconnect with other musicians, and provides an impetus for me to seek out new artistic opportunities that can mesh with the demands of being a mommy to a Type 1 toddler. There has to be something out there that's right for me. I can feel it in my bones.

A visit with the family

We visited with my parents and my brothers over the weekend. My brothers are pretty thoroughly smitten with Richard O., and the feeling is mutual.

Exploring the guitar with Uncle Mike. You can see the insulin pump peeking out of his front pocket.

Sharing chalk with Uncle Mike

Pool shark in training

Sometimes looking at him just takes my breath away.

Contemplating doing something naughty, perhaps?

Filling up the baby pool

Uncle John fires up the squirt guns while I disconnect Richard from his insulin pump.

Exploring the new ride-on toy that Grandma found for $0.75 at a rummage sale.

Getting comforted by Mommy after a scare